Shame wasn't everlasting
But I thought it would be
Quick reminder: there are a couple more days to grab the Mental Health Bundle here!
Do you ever feel awkward or self-conscious sharing your wins? Yeah, me too. But I’m going to do that a bit here today, because I think hearing the wins of other survivors can help us feel a sense of hope and inspiration to keep going.
These days, I very rarely feel a sense of toxic shame, if ever. It’s wild to say that!!!
When I look back to my early 20s (not to mention my teens), I used to be quite literally drowning in shame.
After years of brainwashing that taught me down to the marrow of my bones that I could not be trusted, that I was always the one at fault, that I was bad to the core… hating myself eventually became deeply familiar.
For years in the abusive relationship I was in, it was literally not safe to believe in myself, to speak up for myself, to have an opinion or a belief, or just be a human being without being harmed for it.
Life was subservience and submission to an entitled, abusive man. That was the only way to stay relatively safe. “Safe”, but not at all well.
After years of this during some formative years of brain development, it became the water I swam in.
Morning, noon, and night, I was ready and prepared to find a flaw with myself and punish myself for it.
Shame was so strong, so familiar, for SO long, that it is completely wild to be free of it now. It feels wrong to even say that, like if I actually believe it, the beauty of self-compassion will go away. But I don’t really think that’s true.
Shifting away from shame to self-compassion was a process that moved at a glacial pace. It was not quick.
There were a few delicious “aha!” moments, but they felt like mere glimmers of hope in the sea of chronic self-loathing.
Getting to a place of self-acceptance, to a warm relationship with myself, while still holding myself accountable, took YEEEARRRRRS.
But I came out the other side of the daily work of healing wanting to be a part of the legacy of hope and healing that helped me so much when I was in the throes of CPTSD.
I wanted to have an impact on the community of survivors I am a part of. I wanted to use my story to help people feel seen and connected to. I wanted to reach as many people as possible in an accessible way.
Since 2019, I’ve shared musings and thoughts about the trauma recovery journey on Instagram. In 2020, I opened my coaching business. In 2021, I created and hosted a workshop, Shifting from Shame to Self Love. Since then, hundreds of people have watched the workshop recording and shared their feelings of hope and inspiration they felt after attending.
In the Shame to Self Love workshop, I cover:
What is covered in the workshop?
Awareness: How to recognize and reject the voice of shame, even when it’s become a nearly constant presence in your thoughts.
Understanding: where does shame come from, and why is it so persistent?
Obstacles: Why can rejecting shame be so difficult?
Strategies to shift from Shame to Self Love:
How to create a new narrative for yourself that rewrites the stories shame has told you.
How to practice self-compassion, love, and respect instead of expecting yourself to just magically believe you are lovable after years of judging or hating yourself.
How to stop seeing yourself as broken and unworthy, and start seeing yourself as healing and inherently good enough.
Watch the workshop (and wayyyyy more):
Just through this weekend, my Shame to Self Love workshop is a part of the Mental Health Bundle. Inside the bundle, you’ll find 30+ resources for self development, healing, and beyond, created by experienced practitioners who believe in accessible offerings. Normally $2,300 if bought separeately, you can grab the bundle for $50 until this Sunday at midnight EST.
Let me know if you have any questions about this!
With care,
Emmy