What Does it Mean to "Break the Cycle" of Trauma?
8 examples of breaking the cycle in relationships.
There's a concept I've been really in love with for a long time now. Something that motivates me when I'm feeling low or lost, something that reminds me of how far I've come, something that clarifies why healing is so difficult.
It's the idea of “Breaking the Cycle”.
When I say “cycle”, I mean the lineage of trauma that's been handed to you.
This lineage could look like abuse, neglect, addiction, dysfunction, objectification, dehumanization, or cruelty… and it could have been given to you by any number of attachment figures in your life (parents, partners, authority figures, friends, etc).
When I say “cycle”, I am referring to the pain that was inflicted on you, perpetuating a pattern that you do not want to continue.
When I say “breaking” this cycle, I am referring to the ways you declare to yourself, “This ends with me”.
I mean reclaiming your power and agency. So you no longer feel like you don’t have a choice.
I mean creating a legacy of something new - something healing. Something that makes space for your past while also creating a better future for yourself.
I mean burning down the cycle of trauma and rising from the ashes.
What does Breaking the Cycle look like on a practical level?
It’s different for everyone. But here are 8 ideas to ponder:
You're breaking the cycle every time you choose to respect your emotions instead of making them “bad”.
You're breaking the cycle every time you choose partners and friends who reflect your inherent worth as a human.
You're breaking the cycle every time you choose to treat yourself with compassion instead of cruelty.
You're breaking the cycle every time you choose to get close to people who respect your boundaries.
You're breaking the cycle every time you choose to pay attention to your body instead of ignoring its messages.
You're breaking the cycle every time you ask for help instead of going it alone.
You're breaking the cycle every time you choose to take up space instead of hiding how you feel or what you need.
You're breaking the cycle every time you affirm that you are worthy of love, even if you aren't perfect.
I encourage you to take a moment and check in with yourself: how are you breaking the cycle in your day-to-day life? What are the big and small ways you're choosing to break a cycle of trauma?
Do you know how powerful that is?! VERY powerful. I am proud of you!!
And if you want support with this process, specifically when it comes to relationships, I GOT YOU. Offering this kind of support from the intersection of my lived experience as a survivor and my training in trauma resolution is the deepest honor of my life. I’m not here to preach at you, I’m here to share what has helped me and others create relationships that are loving and healing after years of trauma.
My free workshop, Breaking the Cycle, is happening live THIS week!
(And yes, there will be a replay). The workshop will go deeper into understanding the cycle of trauma specifically on relationships, and how you can break free.
Sign up for the free workshop here.
The live workshop is Wednesday, March 20th, at 4pm PDT, via Zoom. When you sign up, you will automatically get access to the live Zoom link, as well as the workshop replay and the workbook!
Hope to see you there,
Emmy